Countdown to TLOU #4 (Update & Ashley Johnson)

This issue is a little different in that there's no The Last of Us-related essay, as it was impossible for me to write one today, and I'm not going to start one now (it's one thing to be finishing up an essay at 1 in the morning, and quite another to START one at that time!). But I will give you a mini-update on why there's no essay today that's also a glimpse into my work on my production company, Pomonok Entertainment.

Lest you think there's absolutely NO TLOU content today, I have something special for you in my back pocket--a photo of the time that I met Ashley Johnson. You know, the girl who played Chrissy Seaver on Growing Pains. Also, she might have had something to do with The Last of Us, too.

Welcome to the corner of Teresa & Overwhelm --

I've been enjoying this challenge I've given myself of writing a new essay every day. They've been fun topics, and it's strengthening my "churning out content" muscles, which have atrophied a bit since I left The Mary Sue. But it wasn't happening today, because today I had a deadline for a fellowship I was applying for, and it was mayhem this evening.

I applied for the Constellations x CA Fellowship sponsored by The Center for Cultural Power and the California Council for the Arts. Selected fellows will be employed by the CCP (complete with an $80,000/year salary) for an 18-month program where they would partner with a non-profit (in my case it would be Women of Color Unite), to work on an artistic project that aligns with their values and focuses on one of 4 specific areas of interest to the CA Council. WOCU would receive an additional $50,000 to fund the project and for overhead costs/fees/etc.

If you're new to me and my work, I've started a production company called Pomonok Entertainment, with a mission of creating entertaining, thoughtful, inclusive content in multiple mediums, and using the production of that content as a tool in service of the unhoused community in Los Angeles. If you wanna learn more, check out this Seed & Spark page for a short film I wrote and want to direct as the pilot project for the company called Still a Thread.

Since we didn't make our crowdfunding goal, I applied for this fellowship in the hopes of being able to use the time and resources it provides to produce Still a Thread and actually create a blueprint for our productions and figure out all the ways we could use the making of our art to empower and uplift unhoused folks.

I spent the better part of two and a half months getting this application together (it was originally due in December, then they extended it)--it was extensive--and I had to create budgets and timelines for things that haven't happened yet, and that I need the breathing room and resources of this fellowship to figure out. But I did it. And since I'm working with ADHD, I made it a point to start the process early, and reach out to WOCU to secure their involvement and get my documentation in order.

The application was due today (technically yesterday now--1/4) at 11:59pm. I was filling out the application, having gathered everything I needed, by 11:30pm or so. That might sound "last-minute" to some of you, but having a whole half hour to work with is damn near miraculous for me.

THIS IS WHY I NEED MEDS. Without them, I wouldn't have applied at all, because I wouldn't have gotten everything together remotely in time, and I would've given up.

Anyway, I filled out the online application, uploaded all my documents, and hit "Submit." And then I got a swirling wheel of death. It kept timing out and restarting. Timing out and restarting. By 12:05 am, I wasn't sure if I'd just sent it 10 times, or if it didn't go through at all. So, I answered all the application form questions in a Word Doc, and attached it and all my documents to an email and sent it to them that way, explaining the trouble I had and hoping that they'd consider me anyway, since I think what I'm trying to accomplish with Pomonok is exactly the kind of thing this fellowship is trying to support.

And then I CRIED. I didn't realize how much tension and stress I was holding in my body until I sent that email. But more than the stress of the web form not working was the thought that I'd made it a point to start this process early. I did what I was supposed to do--what I'm historically bad at doing. This application had been consuming most of my free time for the past several weeks. Tonight, I was just shooting my three-minute intro video and putting all my documents on letterhead and whatnot. I was DONE.

I'd started early and overcome my messed up brain, and still I went down to the wire and am now unsure if they'll even accept my application. I had a moment earlier where I was spinning. Why bother? If I'm not going to make my deadlines anyway, why bother putting systems in place? Why bother with the stupid meds? Why try to be better when it isn't even going to matter?

Because it does matter, Silly Teresa. It has already mattered countless times in the past couple of years. One unlucky moment doesn't undo everything you've accomplished. Chill the fuck out, Me.

Thanks, Me.

You're welcome.

Now, on to something a lot more fun!

Yup! That's me and the talented and lovely Ashley Johnson, whom I met at WonderCon in Anaheim back in 2017. I was there covering the con for The Mary Sue and interviewing the voice actors who play Wonder Woman and Superman on Justice League Action. If I remember correctly, Ashley was there promoting a show she was doing with Geek & Sundry, or something like that (not Critical Role--it was an animated thing). She happened to be in the press area after I was done interviewing the JLA actors...

...so, of course, I had to say hello. While I have several friends and acquaintances who primarily do voice-over work, I'm not usually someone who follows the careers of voice-over actors. They're extremely talented, and my animation and video game experiences would be nothing without them, but there are certain things I just don't geek out about.

But Ashley Johnson and Troy Baker (as Joel) made magic on The Last of Us. Their performances in both games were so full and nuanced and real that suddenly I cared very much who did that. So, this girl who up until I played this game I knew only as Chrissy Seaver from Growing Pains had stolen my heart as Ellie Williams, and I had to let her know how much this game meant to me.

It was a very standard celebrity meeting situation. I went up to her, introduced myself, and told her how much I loved her performance in TLOU and thanked her for her awesome work. She seemed genuinely touched by it and agreed to take a photo with me. Yadda, yadda, yadda. It was nice. She was nice. And it's always cool to have the chance to tell someone who's work you love how much that work means to you in person so you're sure they're receiving it.

That's such an interesting human thing, isn't it? We need to give gratitude. It's like a genuine physical need. And when someone does work for which we are truly grateful, and we're in the same room as them, we feel physically compelled to express that gratitude--not because they need it, but because we do.

Anyway, Troy Baker? You're next. One day, I'm going to tell you how grateful I am for your work in your face. It's gonna be dope.